An Ordinary Man

The CD of My Fair Lady includes an interview with Rex Harrison who when asked what song was his favorite said, "An Ordinary Man."

The genius of this song: it is spoken rather than sung. The lyricist, Alan Jay Lerner explained that the word at the end of the phrase goes down because the note would be unsustainable for the vocalist if the last note rose rather than fell.

Positively delicious lyrics. Enjoy. 

I'm an ordinary man,

Who desires nothing more than an ordinary chance

to live exactly as he likes

and do precisely what he wants.

An average man am I, of no eccentric whim

Who likes to live his life, free of strife

doing whatever he thinks is best, for him.

Well, just an ordinary man …

BUT

Let a woman in your life 

and your serenity is through;

she'll redecorate your home 

from the cellar to the dome

and then go on to the enthralling 

fun of overhauling you.

Let a woman in your life 

and you're up against a wall.

Make a plan and you will find

that she has something else in mind

and so rather than do either [long I sound]

you do something else

that neither likes at all.

You want to talk of Keats and Milton;

she only wants to talk of love.

You go to see a play or ballet,

and spend it searching for her glove.

Let a woman in your life

and you invite eternal strife.

Let them buy their wedding bands for those anxious little hands;

I'd be equally as willing for a dentist to be drilling

than to ever let a woman in my life.

I'm a very gentle man,

even tempered and good natured

who you never hear complain,

who has the milk of human kindness

by the quart in every vein.

A patient man am I, down to my fingertips,

the sort who never could, ever would,

let an insulting remark escape his lips

A very gentle man …

But, let a woman in your life,

and patience hasn't got a chance.

She will beg you for advice, 

your reply will be concise,

and she will listen very nicely, 

and then go out

and do exactly what she wants!

You are a man of grace and polish,

who never spoke above a hush.

All at once you're using language

that would make a sailor blush.

Let a woman in your life,

and you're plunging in a knife.

Let the others of my sex, tie the knot around their necks,

I prefer a new edition of the Spanish Inquisition

than to ever let a woman in my life.

I'm a quiet living man,

who prefers to spend the evening in the silence of his room,

who likes an atmosphere as restful as

an undiscovered tomb.

A pensive man am I, of philosophic joys,

who likes to meditate, contemplate,

far from humanity’s mad inhuman noise.

A quiet living man.

But, let a woman in your life

and your sabbatical is through.

In a line that never ends 

comes an army of her friends,

come to jabber and to chatter

and to tell her what the matter is with YOU.

She'll have a booming boisterous family,

who will descend on you en mass.

She'll have a large Wagnarian mother,

with a voice that shatters glass.

Let a woman in your life

Let a woman in your life

Let a woman in your life

I shall never let a woman in my life.

And God said, It is not good for man to live alone.