Wednesday, August 7, 2013

"The Way, Way Back"

Last week, whether inspiration or impulse, I started a new blog. And I patted myself on the back for 3 consecutive posts, Wednesday–Friday, thinking I can do this. I can excerpt pieces of Letters from Mom (which, incidentally is what I called said blog) and then comment on the selected content. This idea had been simmering so long, the idea had almost evaporated.

My plan was to write the posts for the week ahead by Sunday. But that night, after reading numerous letters, I had nightmares, the kind that woke me and my uneasiness did not go away by dawn's early light. And the question, WWMT? (what would Mom think?) coupled with, if you do this, you will relive that past, I deleted said blog first thing Monday morning. Whew!

Glad I got that off my chest.

Yesterday my husband and I saw the movie The Way, Way Back, funny and poignant is how some reviews describe it. My daughter saw this movie in Dallas last week and highly recommended it.

Duncan, a 14-year-old, at that most awkward age for boys, must accompany his mom and her boyfriend and his daughter to their beach house on a vacation Duncan doesn't want to take. Turns out his dad, recently remarried to someone younger than Duncan's mom, doesn't want him, so where else can he go?

This man who his mom has been in a relationship with for a year (a friend with benefits) bullies and belittles Duncan. "Hey, you need to make this work," he snaps at Duncan. Still, it takes Duncan's mom the length of the movie to see this guy's true character.

And when she does, she tells Duncan, "Fear makes you do things …" She attempts to help Duncan understand why she would settle for such a man.

And that's where the movie struck a chord, for when I was 14-years-old, my mom got involved with someone.

Of all the forks in the road throughout her life, that was the defining left turn she took. And I believe she took it out of fear.

Fear of loneliness. Fear of the future. Fear that she couldn't survive without a man.

My mom when I was 14-years old and we lived in Beverly Hills, CA

Looking back, I calculate that Mom was a widow for 5 years before remarrying, when as she later wrote, "____ was on the way and we had to because of Carol [that's me]," which was the prevailing belief or attitude at the time.

But on an emotional level, it was fear, not love, that propelled my mom's decisions.

And fear is never a good motivation for decisions. "Perfect love casts out fear."

I like the way the movie ended. Sometimes the way forward is the way, way back.

Thank you, Kind Readers, for bearing with me.

You are loved!

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